Grudges
by No Confidence
Summary: Malessica can't let it go. The harder she tries the stronger it returns. She can't stand to see them anymore...being happy. I do not own Clarence
1. Chapter 1

Stop it.

The way you look at each other makes me sick. Just come out with it. Everyone knows already. There's no use to hide it already. The way you guys blush then turn away from each other makes me want to run out of the room and cry.

I hate both of you.

It's neither of your faults. I just wanted what I couldn't have. I should have spoken earlier before this had happen. What's worse is that she already knows. Yeah, I she does. I told her long before you guys had even gotten together but she took my feelings and crumbled them like paper. She hadn't spoken to me since then.

I know you guys are dating. You make it seem so obvious. There is this twinkle in your eyes that is more than a friendship between two friends and I can't help but feel jealous.

You broke my heart.

I have to sit here in the back of the classroom and watch you guys be happy. You guys don't know how that feels...I have to talk to myself to get answers, listening to the rumors the mean girls say in the bathroom while I wait in the stall for them to leave, or how about cry at night because when I see myself in a mirror I know I'm not perfect.

I don't have flawless brown skin or hair curled to look as if waterfalls dripping down my back. I don't have a good sense of style or the bravery of a lion. I can't think straight.

You think I'm fine on the outside but if you had my shoes you wouldn't thinks so anymore. I struggle to keep my place in the shadows because I'm afraid that I'd I stepped out into the light someone will walk over me like you did.

Im a girl who wants to fit in but had no where to start and that scares me! Everytine I step into class the others don't even acknowledge me unless I'm needed for them to cheat on a test with. Honestly, that is the only thing I'm good for. To be used.

You had me fooled when I thought you were my friend. Friends don't go and kiss the date your other friends love interest.

I stare at you with hate.

You can feel it.

That burning pierce I send towards you making your skin crawl, you won't look me in the eye cause you know what you did. You went behind my back and stole him.

I-I can't live with that. I just can't. Every time, every single time I see you it makes me sick. I should have let it go years ago but it still hurts like it just happened yesterday. People have no idea how badly I wish to leave this place and run off to somewhere out of state.

But I can't stop thinking about you guys.

You haunt me every second of every day in almost every way.

If I look at a peice of paper it reminds me of you guys passing notes, when I watch tv I wonder what type of shows you watch together, and when I go shopping I wonder if you guys hold hands while picking out outfits.I hate you.

Dammit!

I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU.

A slam jolted me out of my mind.

"Ms. Malessica? Is that right?" the teacher asked sarcastically. "I'm going to make an example of a failing student,"

The blood in my ears thumped red. She was going to make fun of me again, I don't know what the teacher had agaianst me but she wouldn't let it go. I guess we have something in common but that doesn't make me any happy that she's doing this...again.

"Malessica, tell me your grade." She commands throwing the paper in my face.

I stare at the sheet. My eyes burned, trimming with tears at the sheet. I didn't want to say this grade out loud. I didn't want to be dummy. I look around the class to see the kids murmuring to each other and their eyes staring straight at me. I stare back down at the sheet. I hadn't done my best that I'll admit but she didn't need to point that out...She didn't need to point me out.

"Well?" She snaps. Her eyes were smiling with glint laughter. The woman is evil, she loved to make fun of me along with the kids. They were so evil. They all were so evil. She snickers, "Did you forget how to speak?"

"Why don't you back off?" a voice said from the front of the class not to far away a from my seat. I knew that voice so well it was the voice I hate. My hands gripped the desk gripping them so hard that I might've broken it. She didn't need to do this. I didn't need her help.

"Ms. Chelsea I think you need to shut your mouth."

"Maybe you should shut yours instead? I mean, damn, you're just a bitter bitch who picks on kids cause your fucking stupid." Chelsea states earning oohs from the class and some nods in agreement.

I stare at her wondering why, Why would she do this. I know she wanted to help but it made me feel worse because I couldn't take care of myself. I was weak. I didn't need her help. I didn't need it. Why did she always feel the need to be in my life.

The teacher looked furious. "Get out! GET OUT!" she yelled at Chelsea who wasn't moving. That's what I had actually liked about her. Chelsea had her own path, she followed her own rules whenever she felt like it. That's must have been why Sumo liked her more.

My grip loosens on the wooden desk. I stood up. The class was silent as they watched me walk out of the room. I didn't say one word. I just kept walking not caring for Chelsea's voice calling for me or when I had passed the worried eyes of Sumo and his friends. I just kept walking.

_AN: ...should there be more? Review and tell me if so..._


	2. Chapter 2

Why does this have to be so hard? It's just combing my hair...and the comb broke again. I sighed and threw the prices of what had been a comb down on the floor. Why could I have manageable hair like Chelsea? Hers is curly too and very easy to comb while mine is so nappy and tangled. I look in the mirror one more time to confirm my thoughts. Yep, my hair is a mess. Maybe that's why Sumo never like me, I was always a mess. I mean I'm a dork, I don't have many friends. Most of the things I go to are because of Chelsea and her big mouth. She used to always motivate me into doing the things I never wouldhave thought I would do like going on sleepovers and seeing the stars.

I shook my head. I don't want to think about that backstabber. She's the main reason why I'm like this right now. Maybe I was meant to be lonely for the restt of my life without anyone to love me or tell me that I look pretty. I push down the feeling of uneasiness in stomach and pick up the rubber bands on my desk. Maybe if I just changed my appearance then maybe I could have a shot at fitting in and when I fit in I can finallly be apart if something. What if I curl my hair in a different style or put it in one of those big curly buns like the models do? That'll look pretty on me, I think...

"Malessica, would you-OH DEAR!" My mother shouted when she saw my hair. "CAR. NOW."

I scurried to put in some extra clothes and ran to the car wondering what on earth had gotten into my mother. She looked so horrified when she saw me that it made my spirit plummet. Did I really look that ugly? She could have put it in a nicer way instead of flipping out like that. I know I'm not the best looking but you can at least spare some sympathy.

My mom ran to the car and hoppped in. She apparently was in her phone. "Tricia, yes, look my daughter needs her hair done, pronto!" She hung up and looked to me smiling. "I was hoping for the day you'd decide to get your hair done!"

"I-I'm going to an actual salon?" I ask suddenly nervous at the thought I'd other women seeing nybhair and throwing comments about it behind my back.

"Yes!" My mother squealed like a teenage girl.

I sat back in my seat, queasy about the thought then remembered that if I do go to the salon and get my hair done than I'll look good enough for School. I thought about all the curly styles I could wear it in or maybe even get it cut into one of those curly bobs. I smile at the thought of short hair. Something about hair being short gave you that older and more mature look.

"We're here!"

I open my eyes, I didn't know I had them closed, and stared at the building. It looked so refined and dedicated. I gulped and slowly got out of the car with my mother. She seemed to be the happiest mom right now whole I on the other hand wasn't so happy.

"Tricia!" My mother called as we entered the building. A short woman with a black bob haircut appeared and looked me up and down.

"Is this your daughter?" She asks in an accent I can't quiet place.

My mother nodded. "Yep, now fix her hair!"

The woman circled me and tapped her chin. "Darling, move your head down her so I can touch it please." I did as she asked and she felt my hairs curls. "Mmmhh, I can work with this. Go to the sink on your right I will be right with you "

I went to the sink and questioned if this really was a good idea. Did I get to pick out the styles I wanted or will she let me do this later? Maybe she went to go get one of those magazine books for me to choose the look? Suddenly the woman popped up beside scaring the jeepers out of me. She felt my hair once more and with a firm nod she tugged on it.

"You hair was not meant for curls." She says unlocking her fingers from the tangled mess.

I was quiet. I had always thought that I was good with curls, that basically my whole hairstyle life. I watch her take out a bottle of something unknown and sprayed it on my hair.

"I'm going to show you what style is meant for your hair." She states taking out more materials and dumpping on to my hair. Her hands were soft when she caressed my hair and the tangled were gone as if they had never existed before. She washed and soaked it in warm water and combed it at the same time, never in my life could I have done that without help. The came the portable blow drying, the hot air blew on my head like a fan. My eyes were closed as she combed through it. It felt...nice.

"Go sit under dryer." She says after wrapping the hair. "Hair not fully dry, so big dryer needed."

I opened my eyes and went to sit under the big dryer. I look around the shop and smiled, I hadn't even notice all the women in here bit they seemed to be very relaxed and pampered it made me be relaxed.

"Thanks, Rita."

My eyes quickly snapped open at the sound. I knew that voice. I grabbed the nearest magazine on the table beside me and hid my face as the brown girl sat beside me. Her hair was in a million tiny rolleres and wrapped up just as mine. She didn't seem to notice who I was.

""Hey, the people here are the best." She says to me. "My hair is the bomb! Well going to be, anyway, haven't seen you here often."

I changed my voice to a higher pitch, "First time."

"Oh," she smiled then sighed sadly.

I stare at her for a while then finally ask, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking." She says tapping the arm of the chair. "Gotta boyfriend?"

I shook my head, "No, do you?"

"Yeah, his name is Sumo and he's the best guy in the world. Bed a bit rowdy and mean but he reeally means well and doesn't take anything for granted. Me and him kinda hooked up by accident and now it's caused me to lose a friend. She kinda like him and now I'm being pushed away but I think we can still hang."

"Maybe she need some more time before you can talk to her again, sounds like you broke her heart." I say.

Chelsea nodded, "Yeah sounds about right."

"Chelsea your hair should be done by now." One if the stylist say and helped her out of her chair.

She looked back at me and smiled, "Nice talking to you."

"You too." I mumbled incoherently.

A few minutes after that I saw her walk out the door with a couple of friends. I had been so relieved when she didn't realize who she had been speaking to; talk about awkward. Tricia finally came back and pulled me back into her chair.

"You look perfecto when I get through." She proudly announces and unwrapped my hair. My jaw dropped when I saw the results. My hair...was straight. Bone straight. I wanted to touch it but the stylist slapped my hand away. "Wa til it finish!"

I slowly put my hand down as she took out a lot of scissors and went to work on my three seconds she finished and grinned.

"Magnific!"

I was stunned, I looked Magnificent! My hair went down to my waist and my bangs were on fleak as they say! I stepped out the chair and walked to the other part of the salon to face my mother. You shuld have seen the look on her face.

She smiled. "Now we go shopping."

Today was just getting better and better. As we walked out I caught the glimpse of Sumo who was checking me out! He must had not known who I was cause I totally looked different with my new look. Probably was waiting on Chelsea on the salon, ha, now Chelsea isn't the only pretty on now. I threw him a smile and he blushed like a tomato.

I smiled wickedly. 'Chelsea I'm coming for you.'

_AN: She's coming for you Chelsea. Better watch your back...Hey guys remember to review and give back some feedback. _


	3. Chapter 3

I pressed down my new purple sweater vest and fixed my white collar shirt and put on my new black skinny jeans then my new leather calve high boots with short heels at the bottom. Looking in the mirror I unwrapped my new silky hair and combed it easily to my waist. I smiled, reaching for my new square glasses. Damn I look good. Shit, I look better than good, I'm a goddess. I went to my closest and tapped my chin. What to wear? What to wear? I finally picked out a black cardigan and purple braceleets.

My mother smiled, "Arent you looking good."

"You know it." I say cocky.

She walks into my room and stands beside me in the mirror. "You finally broke your shell. I'm so proud of you baby."

I smile, "Thanks."

We packed up, I did anyway, and got to school as I did always. But if you would have saw the look on the kids when I strutted in the hallway. Ha! It would had you dying laughing. Their jaw drops leaving their mouths hanging open for the flies.

"W-woah." Jeff stuttered. Ashley elbowed him in the gut and flipped her hair at him making me laugh. I had a little crush on Jeff she. I was younger but that was just a little puppy love. It went away so fast when we made it to High School that's when he and Ashley got together.

I flipped my hair and made it to my locker.

"Ummm sorry pretty lady, but that's Malessica's locker." Clarence said to me.

I chuckled. "Clarence it's me."

"Me who?" He asks stupidly cocking his head to the side.

"I'm Malessica." I say placing a hand on my hip.

Everyone in ear shot gasped. "Malessica?!"

"Yeah, sup?" I say placing it down coolly. "I got my hair done and junk, no biggie."

"H-hey can I get your number?" A boy says sheepishly.

I scoffed. Just cause I'm pretty now doesn't mean that I'm easy, this is why I hate boys! They always go for the pretty little gals and hurriedly push the other potiental girl away as if she never existed. The pig heads!

"I wouldn't go with you if you are the only guy on earth." I say coldly. "You never noticed me before so why now? Why don't you go somewhere else with that talk."

He stood shocked then turned away embarrassed.

I wasn't even guilty for what I said. I know it was true plus he didn't deserve me! Yes, I said it. He doesn't deserve me! He's just so random guy wanting to have something to show like a trophy but I'm better than a trophy girl. I'm the real deal, you can't win me like a contest or bribe me with gifts. So I choose to be single, none of that drama going on. Well, if Sumo was single then maybe...

Speak of the devil

(Times Jump)

"I care for you."

Belson couldn't get rid of the feeling of uneasiness when he had kicked Clarence out of his house. The blonde had only come to him so he could see of everything was okay and Belson had got fed up with his jokes and idiocy. _He just wanted to see if you were okay._

The brunette pushed away the nasty curl in stomach and switched the channels on the tv. _He said he loved you when you were in the hospital and was the only one to show up. He even tried to feed you and make you laugh._

His eyes were glued on the television screen though he wasn't paying attention. His mind was solely on Clarence. _Are you still Jealous of him? He's been nothing but good to you! He thinks about you all the time in some of the kindest of ways and here you go and kick him to the curve. Why? Why?!_

Grabbing the remote, he changed the channels and settles on a talk show. Women were bickering and talking about how dirty a man you could be. Belson snorted and was going to change the channel until one of the host said something that caught his attention.

"Sometimes you can be so insecure and not let a man in!" She says to the audiences. "Some of you women here as passing up good men because you are too insecure and stubborn! Sometimes you just have to let go and see what happens."

Belson slowly sat the remote down and perked up.

"True, true, but you can't trust someone so easily." One of the other Women says interrupting the woman. "If you let them in what if they hurt you? Then what? You've got a broken heart and a lost soul! I say you can't trust men!"

The brunette nodded, "Thats so true."

_You sound afraid. Youre just a big coward who can't fight his own battles and tries to get verything he wants by money even trying to buy friends. That's why you won't let him in, you're afraid of being hurt. So instead of him hurting you, you try to hurt him. That's why you have no real friends, you hurt anyone that tries to become one to protect yourself._

"Woah, now you've gone off the deep end! Some men can be trusted, you have to learn how to trust them and what to trust them with. You and him have to learn about each other and try to give you guys a chance." The woman stated proudly. The audience began to clap loudly and cheer.

_Sounds like somebody I know._

Belson groaned, "How am I suppose to let him in if I can't let myself in?"

As if magic the woman on the screen asks, "How?"

"Well," the woman tapped her chin. "Youve got to try, just go for it. Get yourself pumped up and get ready to do what you are going to do! You can't wait on life, honey, you have to create it."

Suddenly Belson stood up, "Mom! Give me the phone!"

* * *

><p>Okay I left out a lot but you can guess what happens!<p> 


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